i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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