your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
