Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
