I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
