What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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