Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
