ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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