I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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