I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
