We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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