He is such a slut. More and more my type.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
