i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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