Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
