you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
