There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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