I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
