uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
