U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i think my cat just said my name.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
