and she was petting her beer can
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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