I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
