Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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