i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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