Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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