I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
