I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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