Do you still have your period?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
