Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
