I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
