i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
