remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she looked like the before picture.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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