his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
