I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
