Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
