Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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