There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
