don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
