How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
