Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
