I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
