Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
