I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
