but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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