you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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