Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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