this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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