Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dignity is for republicans.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
