Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
