that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im holly from the hills drunk
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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