U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just had sex on a roof
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
