I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
