I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
