When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
