How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
As shirtless as possible
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
