very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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