Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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