i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
